talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I cut my penus on the lid.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
