could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
