please come you make the beer taste better
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
