Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
