Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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