I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
