great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
