I CAN MOONWALK!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
