It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
