watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
