All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
