I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
