yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
