he puts the penis in happiness.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
