is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
