It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
