I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
