i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
