im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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