I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
