I'm eating all of the evidence.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
