dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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