Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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