please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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