how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
