If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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