Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
