the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i came on her dog
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The power of my boobs compel you
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
