question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
