I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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