Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
