he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The air taste purple.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
