He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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