I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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