Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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