I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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