It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
