you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
