I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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