You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Randomize
