His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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