Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
