He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
