I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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