well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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