I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
