i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we're making bets on your personal life
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
