His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
