Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
