So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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