Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
