you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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